Navy alerted as elderly landlubber flexes sea legs
Dickie bow down the Amazon – that is the black prospect for
David Bell, former municipal correspondent of the Birmingham Mail.
A great adventure for the retired pensioner who booked the
exotic jaunt about a year or so ago and is now getting excited at the prospect
of it finally happening.
Hardly paddling his own canoe. Only the best for the Hartlepool-born
lad, a plush cruise.
Heading off this week … but already under a cloud
(presumably of mosquitoes!).
Because they have written to him making it plain that only
black tie will be acceptable at the Captain’s table.
Or, if you are a pleb, you might get away with a posh lounge
suit. But it will be frowned upon.
“It’s my holiday, I’ve paid for it and I’ll wear what I
want,” pledges the rebel.
Nevertheless I have full confidence in Bell
There has been talk of purchasing a bow tie, possibly at
great expensive from Primark.
Meanwhile the troops are encouraging him with tales of giant
Bell-eating caiman, ravenous piranha fish, massive anaconda snakes and deadly
tropical diseases.
Things not normally seen in the Black
Country though some of the canals can be a bit dodgy.
And whether Guinness, Bell
Still a warm welcome is expected from the locals.
The outlook on life of the many head-hunting tribes is
probably very akin to Bell
